Hey there! Sorry I’ve been away for a couple of weeks, but I’m relieved to say that I’m “mostly” recovered from the most brutal flu I think I’ve ever had. It was no joke. But it’s made me appreciate my health even more, that’s for sure! I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year and that you’re starting 2019 with intentional peace and joy! (See what I did there?) 😉 I’m excited about today’s blog post! It’s fun and positive and one that I think you’ll find useful.
Have you ever seen the movie “Eat, Pray, Love?” It’s one of my favorites. Do you remember the scene when Liz was in India and she was going through some mental struggles? She was sitting down having a conversation with her new friend Richard and he gives her this advice:
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
I’ve remembered that quote for years. But it wasn’t until more recently in my life that I started understanding it’s truth and developing this skill for myself. So, I’ve put together a list for you of 9 of my favorite thoughts! Thoughts that I find incredibly useful and empowering. Thoughts that I choose to think on purpose and that give me much better results in my life. Some of these thoughts I learned from life coaches and some I created myself. Feel free to use them in your own life! They just might be game changers for you as they have been for me!
- “I CAN MAKE ANYTHING FUN AND WORTHWHILE”: I love thinking this thought always but especially when I’m faced with something that I perhaps don’t naturally feel excited about. Whether it’s helping my kids clean up their messy playroom, or folding laundry, or making slime for the millionth time with my son, etc. Whatever it may be… this thought is a great one for generating more positive emotion around the task!
- “MY SPOUSE’S ONLY JOB IS TO BE THERE FOR ME TO LOVE“: When I first learned this powerful thought, it literally saved me and freed me. I remember when I used to think that my husband’s job was to make me feel loved and beautiful. I believed that part of his job was to be whoever I needed him to be, and that also meant he was supposed to meet the majority of my expectations so that I could feel happy and complete. Oh how wrong I was about that. It was such a disempowering and desperate place to live my life from… and quite honestly created A LOT of unnecessary negative emotion. So, you know what I realized? You know who’s job it is to make sure I feel beautiful and loved and happy and complete? MINE. It’s my job. And that is the best news ever… because I realized I don’t have to rely on anything or anyone outside of me to make me feel what I want to feel. I get to be in control of that! And by intentionally thinking and believing the thought that “my husband’s purpose is to be there for ME TO LOVE”, it has allowed me to open up my heart more and to actually experience way more love in my life, more compassion, and more light in our relationship than ever before.
- “PEOPLE ARE DOING THE BEST THEY CAN”: I love this thought! Because you know what it does? It keeps me from judging people and helps me feel compassion for others and give them the benefit of the doubt. This is especially a great thought to use when your brain feels “wronged” by someone. Or if someone was maybe rude to you for no reason. Or in any situation where you’re experiencing some negative emotion towards someone and you know that emotion isn’t necessary or helpful to you. Trust me… It feels much better to believe that people are doing the best they can, rather than believing that everyone sucks and you always being offended by others. Whether it’s regarding people your close with or even strangers. Sometimes people’s “best” is actually terrible. And we cannot always know why that is or what they’ve experienced in their life that’s influenced their behavior.
- “MY LIFE EXPERIENCE IS EXACTLY AS IT SHOULD BE RIGHT NOW”: Sometimes we go through things that seem unfair or just too hard to bear. Sometimes our trials seem to come at the worst time and they may even last for much longer than we expected. This thought and belief serves me really well especially during those times. It brings me peace and helps me have faith that nothing has gone wrong with my life. I am experiencing exactly what I should be right now and the lessons I’m learning from it are helping me grow and evolve into a better version of myself. The version of myself that God wants me to be and knows I can be.
- “MY BODY IS A GIFT AND I LOVE TAKING CARE OF IT”: This thought makes me feel grateful for my body and more motivated to take better care of it. When I intentionally direct my brain to this thought as often as possible, it helps me make better eating choices, drink more water, and actually get excited about exercising! Try it out! See how it makes you feel and what actions it leads you to take 🙂
- “MY KIDS ARE CHILDREN OF GOD”: I’ll be the first to say that I get frustrated with my kids. They of course don’t always behave the way I want them to and I have impulsive thoughts like “Why do they act this way” and “They are such terrible listeners” and “Man, they are so difficult today”. Those thoughts turn me into a more frustrated, less loving mother. Those thoughts have led me to act in ways that I’m not proud of. But when I direct my mind every day to the thought “My kids are children of God”, it is amazing the feelings of calm and peace that I get. And in those moments when my brain sees my kids as being difficult, I can think that positive thought and it helps me act differently towards them and show them more love and patience.
- “LIKING MYSELF IS MY JOB. NOBODY ELSE’S”: This thought is SUCH a powerful one and it’s truly freeing for someone who tends to be a people pleaser. Or for someone who struggles with caring too much about what others think of them. And to clarify, this thought does not mean to say “I can do and say what I want and I don’t care about anyone else”. It just simply means that you are 100% likeable and worthy no matter what anyone else thinks or says about you. It is not anyone’s responsibility to like you but YOUR OWN. Is it nice when people like you? Sure. But it says nothing less about you if they don’t. To me this thought means that you will always have your back and know how amazing you are… and you don’t need validation from anyone else in order to believe that you ARE amazing. Talk about a sense of freedom!!
- “I CAN WANT WITHOUT NEEDING”: As humans, our brains naturally want so many things. They want people to behave a certain way, they want plans to go the way they envisioned, they want us to eat whatever we’re craving, they want to control circumstances, they want our kids to be happy and make good choices, etc. But did you know that you can want all of those things and not NEED any of them to happen in order for you to feel good? I’m serious. You can want your spouse or your kid to change their behavior, but when they don’t, you can still be emotionally ok. You can want your plan to work, but when it doesn’t, you can still be confident and find the silver-lining. You can totally want a circumstance to be different, and still feel at complete peace that it’s not. THAT IS WANTING WITHOUT NEEDING. And it’s a concept that has been life changing for me as I’ve tried to master it. (Believe me, I’m still working on it). As Jody Moore puts it, “When we need something, we are waiting for it to happen before we allow ourselves to feel good. But when we want it without needing it, we allow ourselves to feel good first, which makes it much more likely to happen.” I’m telling you…understanding and practicing this thought has been a game changer for me in my emotional life.
- “LOVE WINS”: There is a lot I could say about this thought but I will try to keep it short. Love is the most powerful feeling/emotion in the world. Love for God, love for yourself, love for your family, love for everyone. Love never fails to make you a better person. Real, Christlike love… never worsens a situation or a relationship. It saves people and lifts them up. It changes them and shapes them. I direct my mind to this thought all the time. And I try every day to live my life from the emotion of LOVE. Especially when it’s hard. Because loving when it’s easy doesn’t necessarily help us reach our full potential. But choosing to love when it’s hard… that’s when real miracles happen.
I hope these thoughts find you at a time when you need them. They can be so powerful and can truly create so much good in your life. I promise.